![]() I also feel like I don't want to put my kids through it (even though they are older) unless it's pretty cut and dried. If you're seeing an attorney, maybe just go ahead and file and cut through the Gordian's knot in one clean slice of the sword.Īs to what I'm waiting for, well I go from "fuck it, we're done" to " well, maybe." often enough that I know I need to have it hit me in the face hard enough, and it hasn't yet. Your WW can't keep her panties on around other men, doesn't want to, and has no intentions of being faithful to you. So she's been abusing you for 20 years.ĮDIT TO ADD: I don't know why at this stage you'd want to go through the entire marriage police "spy vs spy" stuff. Someone conducting a two-decade affair would have to rank up very high on that same scale for being a really bad candidate for reconciliation. Serial cheaters are notoriously bad prospects for reconciliation. Option 2 - she's a serial cheater and you just happened to catch her this time, making your entire marriage a complete farce. Option 1 - she's been conducting a 20 year relationship and has made your entire marriage a complete farce. That said, in situations like yours, I think it would be practically insurmountable: I used to be a little more hardline on "divorce right now" but now I tend to try to be a little softer because I think reconciliation can and does happen for some people. Is this the same OM from 2001 or a different one? Either way, it's bad juju. I’ve a few friends who have been recently divorced and I will be hitting them up for any advice too.Īny advice or thoughts, guidance, heartfelt comments, or reality checks would be greatly appreciated. I’ve also been reading up on and taking notes on divorce law in my state. I want as close to incontrovertible proof as I can have before I pull the trigger. Given the magnitude of the life change, I need to KNOW. I base this on some of the messages from the previous episode (she told him I’d be on an overnight camping trip and he never responded to that, when she said I had found out he told her “We are friends” a few times but she didn’t seem to want to hear that.)Īnyway, I’m not completely done yet, but I can see it from here. I have actually come to believe he sees her as a friend and doesn’t want to get involved with her (she’s 50 and about 15 years older than he is). He blew her off, though, which actually made me chuckle. I wound up catching a FB message from her to him with very suggestive content. When I found out he would be there again, I said nothing (she doesn’t know that I know), and began to observe. Her contact with OM had been through a summer school program in which she works as a teacher aide, he is the gym teacher. Things seemed to get better (I found a few “How to Improve a Broken Relationship” type websites pulled up on her phone for example) and eventually I got over it.įlash forward to July 3, 2021. At the end of the day, I should have held out longer and built up more intel so I had a clearer understanding of what was happening. I caught a FB Messenger message from him to her with some very sexual language. ![]() Though I have no evidence of actual physical contact, there is certainly evidence of an EA. We R’d obviously, she did the counseling thing, and a lot of individual work to try and improve herself. I posted the original story when it happened about 2 years ago, but I can’t find that thread so I thought I’d recap it and add some new info.įrist off, first D-Day was September 10, 2001.
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